Moms have a way of giving the very best advice without it coming off as advice.
I often use my mom as a sounding board. She’s the best listener. I am grateful she doesn’t approach me with tips and tricks and all of the things that worked for her in 1987. Instead, she has a way of providing comfort with her listening. I adore that about her. Her conversations with me about being a mom are never “let me fix this for you,” but instead, “I know it is stressful.”
The very best phrase my mom has said to me has stuck with me these past eight years of motherhood. After listening to me complain, or cry, or sob to her on the phone, she would gently say,
“I am sorry you are going through this. It is hard. This, too, shall pass.”
Now, as a mom in the thick of it (it being a sleep regression or a colicky baby or a toddler who just. Won’t. Stop. Biting), the words didn’t feel like a revolution when she said it. I appreciated her thoughts, but in my mind, I was thinking, “but I want it to pass NOW! I see no light at the end of the tunnel! Can you maybe tell me when this will pass?”
As it turns out, mom was right.
(No surprise, huh?). My once up-all-night baby happily sleeps all night long and is headed to kindergarten soon. My once colicky baby is now the most easygoing kid. And my once biting toddler has learned that is teeth should only be chomping into food, not siblings. I don’t remember the day it “passed.” There was no victory celebration. I was probably too busy absorbed in the next phase of something that felt never-ending.
But it will pass.
I am reminded of this phrase because I am in a season of waiting for it to be over. And, I am sure a lot of you reading this are too. Having our worlds turned upside down in the blink of an eye has been grueling. One moment we were living our go, go, go, lifestyles, and the next we were told to stay put. In the thick of this phase, when it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, I remind my self of my mom’s words. This, too, shall pass. It doesn’t mean it will be tomorrow; it doesn’t give a date. But it will pass.
Still, in the grueling phases of stressed to the max motherhood, there was always a silver lining. The sleepless infant gave me middle-of-the-night snuggles, even if it was every hour. One of the most special memories I have from the colicky baby phase was my husband and I taking turns holding him face to face in a dark bedroom with loud music on, dancing around like crazy people just to stop him from crying. And I may still be looking for the silver lining from the biting toddler, but perhaps it added to the resiliency of the siblings? That may be a stretch.
My point is, this phase that we are all in, definitely has a silver lining. And we don’t have to wait until it is all over for us to find it. A lot of things have been taken away from us, but we receive a lot of things in return.
Remember, this, too, shall pass.
On the difficult days, when you feel like this phase will NEVER pass, search for the silver lining. If you can’t find it, that’s okay. Eventually, it will show up. This, too, shall pass.