The Ultimate Guide to Hiring a Nanny

We’ve had our fair share of caretakers for our kids. From in-home daycare to nannies.

I’ve come to realize that when you’re hiring a nanny, you really want to find someone who most closely parents/cares the way you do- or better.

A good place to start is recognizing what exactly you want in a nanny. 

What Do Parents Want in a Nanny?

Transportation– Will this person be driving your kids? How will gas reimbursement work? What about additional car seats? Safe driving record?

Cleanliness Habits– Obviously not talking about their personal hygiene (or maybe I am), but what do you expect when it comes to things around the house. Should the house look the same or better when you come home? (Most families will say yes.) Or are you okay if the nanny leaves the playroom not picked up, counter-tops dirty, or dishes unwashed?

Communication– Is this person regularly sending you photos of your kids? I’ve seen that too many photos might indicate they’re on the phone too much, yet sometimes not enough leaves you wondering what they’re up to. As a parent, I personally think a few updates through the day puts my mind at ease. It’s not about micromanaging the nanny, it’s me feeling like I’m still a part of my kids growing up.

Curricular– How involved are they with the kids? Do they come up with craft ideas? Do they take them places? Can they help them with their homework?

Payment- How much will you pay the nanny? When will raises come? How often are they going to be paid?

Once you establish what you want, here are some interview questions.

Where Are Some Places to Find a Nanny?

Thanks to the world wide web, it’s now easier than ever to find a nanny. You can create an “ad” or start browsing candidates yourself. Just make sure you know what your expectations are (see above).

Some obvious places to look are:

  • Nanny Agency (if you can afford this route)
  • Care.com
  • Sittercity.com
  • Family, friends, and co-workers

Some less obvious places to look are:

  • Nextdoor.com
  • Facebook groups (private, parent-oriented works best)

What Are Some Nanny Interview Questions?

Before an in-person interview, I suggest screening them via telephone. Here are some good initial questions:

  1. Why do you want to be a nanny?
  2. Tell me about your experience with kids.
  3. What drew your interest to my post?

If they pass, then it’s time to invite them over to meet face-to-face. During this interview, open-ended questions work best for this as you’ll be letting them lead the conversation AND can gauge a lot of other cues by how they answer.

Tip: Start with easy questions that require little thought and lead to tougher questions.

Begin by re-stating the information you discussed on the phone. This might spark more conversation before you start drilling down on the questions.

  1. Do you feel comfortable _____? (Folding laundry, cooking meals, giving baths, traveling on vacations, etc.) This question is to address specific things you’ll expect as a parent.
  2. Can you tell me about your driving record?
  3. What safety training have you done? (CRP, First Aid, etc.)
  4. How might you handle ______? (specific misbehavior of your kids such as lying, disobeying, aggression, etc.)
  5. We want this to be a mutually good fit, so what would you expect from your nanny family? (I would encourage the prospective nanny to elaborate on this or follow up a day or two later with a more complete answer.)

If you like what you’re hearing and will consider them for the next round, then ask:

  1. What do you expect for pay?
  2. When could you start?

Pro Tip: Walk them out to their car after the interview and look inside. If you want a clean nanny, the condition of their car is a good indicator.

Questions to Ask When Calling A Nanny Reference?

Let’s say your candidate looks good, but you want to be sure to dot your i’s and cross your t’s by checking references. What might be some good, insightful questions to ask any references they give you?

Start with this list:

  1. How long was this person a nanny for you?
  2. What did you love best about this person?
  3. What did your kids love best about this person?
  4. What are some things you wish he/she did better?
  5. If you could hire this person again, would you? Why or why not?

Again, you can gauge by how quickly, enthusiastically, or hesitantly they respond to these questions and make judgments from there.

If you make the offer on the best candidate and they accept, yay!

But now here’s where the rubber meets the road…

How to Manage Your Nanny Well

Remember: Your nanny is your employee and you’re the employer. As such, treat this position with all the protections and formalities, yet also as someone who is an extension of your family.

Here are some tips on “managing” your nanny well:

Have check-in points

Much like employees in regular jobs, there should be set times to evaluate how things are working out. This is to discuss what’s working, what’s not working, and give them an opportunity to speak up. You can lay these out 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, and then a year for good measure.

Also, provide regularly positive and constructive feedback- 3 compliments for every 1 critique is a good rule of thumb.

Troubleshooting

If you have regular feedback and check-in points then troubleshooting may not be much of a concern. However, if there is clearly an ongoing issue (personality clashes with a child, messy home, excessive phone use, etc.) then it’s time to have that tough meeting.

Honestly, one of the best ways is to present it as a problem and invite both parties to strategize a mutually agreeable solution.

Treat Them Well

Much like happy employees at companies, nannies want to feel some of those perks. This may mean getting gifts on their birthday, having extra bonuses/perks, or giving them Christmas presents.

Everyone loves feeling appreciated and loves generous gestures.

Don’t Undermine the Nanny

This is one important thing I’ve learned as a nanny boss- they don’t like being undermined. So if you work from home or happen to be home while they’re caring for your kids, don’t undermine them. 

This might look like you saying “Yes” after your nanny just told them “No” or stepping in to “help” unsolicited. What you’re communicating is, “I’m still in charge even if you are” and eventually the kids sense that, too.

A nanny works best when trusted and empowered.

Housekeeping Things With a Nanny

These are some other things I didn’t cover well, but here are some extra housekeeping things to know:

  • Set up how you plan to pay them and make sure you do it legally (ya know, with taxes and all)
  • Write up a contract. Again, this is sort of like that employee NDA and also “job requirements” form. I believe this step is optional, however, more protection is never bad.

What are your tips for hiring a nanny? We’d love to hear what works for you.

Cam
I grew up in Omaha and met my husband, Tommy, during our college internship. We’re OPS kids who now live in Elkhorn with our 3 girls- Evelyn, Annabel, and Madeline. In my former life, I ran a marketing/web design business for 7 years. Now, I work part-time at Absolute Roofing and run my own blog at LightPassingThrough.com. I’m passionate about Jesus, marriage, parenting, fitness, food, and people. If you have a crazy idea for a blog post, there’s a good chance I would probably say “yes”.