National Adoption Month — An Adoptee’s Perspective

Adoption is an emotional thing for many people.  Perhaps you and your family have been impacted directly by adoption.  Maybe it’s something you are curious about, and want to learn more on what you need to do if you’re considering adopting a child.

National Adoption Month is recognized every November to create awareness about adoption, teach people about the process, and to raise awareness that there are children who still need to find their forever families.  It’s also a time for those who have personal experiences to celebrate and reflect on it.

For me, adoption has a very personal meaning.

I was adopted at three weeks of age by my mom and dad.  My birth mom and birth dad were young and not prepared to be parents, and chose to place me up for adoption. I respect their decision, and I’m grateful. It shaped me to be the wife, mother, daughter (and now, sister) I am today.

My Mom and Dad

My parents have always been Mom and Dad to me, and I never knew any different.  My parents were honest with me from the beginning. I was told from an early age that I was adopted (as far back as I can remember, in fact).  My entire extended family always accepted me, and I never doubted my place in the family just because I was adopted. I had a great childhood. I was raised as an only child, as my parents did not adopt any other children.

My Birth Family

I was adopted through a closed adoption, which meant I had very limited information of my birth family growing up.  My birth parents reached out to me when I was 32 years old–over 8 years ago now.  To make a long story short, I reunited with them a year later. I have been very blessed and fortunate to get to know them and their families, and I’m thankful to have them in my life.  I was so excited to find out I have 9 half siblings!  

These new relationships have been such a wonderful part of my life.  I feel that my reunion helped me complete a puzzle, of sorts, for me. My birth family is a part of me.  My adoptive family is a part of me as well. I’m grateful to have all the missing parts of my puzzle, because there are many adoptees that never get the opportunity to meet their birth families. 

Reunion has definitely not changed how I feel about my mom and dad.  They are still my mom and dad, and nothing will change that. While my mom was not exactly thrilled about me getting to know my birth family, she’s accepted it.  No one will ever take their place (which I know many adoptive parents fear).

My Friends

Many of my friends have experienced a wide variety of adoption situations.  Every adoption is so different, and each family will have their own roller coaster ride of emotions. I have friends who have grown their families by international adoption, domestically through open and closed adoptions, and through foster care. I have other friends who have completely given up hope on adoption because of the expense and the heartache involved with the long wait.  I have friends who are adoptees themselves, through similar circumstances to mine–and through completely different scenarios. I also have a friend who placed her child up for adoption.

Almost every family I know who adopted a child went through intense emotions during the process. The birth parents I’ve met (including my own) went through their own pain and healing.  One friend I know will never know who her birth parents are. Another adopted friend agonized over deciding whether or not she should seek out her birth parents.  No story is the same, but every story is special.

Every child deserves to have a family

Adoption is hard, but it is so worth it in the end–for the family who gains a son or daughter, for the child who gains a parent, and for the birth family who knows their child is in loving arms.  I’m grateful for my own story, and I’m also glad for my friends and the happy endings they’ve experienced.  If you feel that it’s in your heart to adopt a child or foster a child, National Adoption Month is a great time to check out these resources to get started:

Nebraska Children’s Home Society

Child Saving Institute

Holt International

Catholic Charities

Lutheran Family Services

Do you know other resources regarding the adoption process? Let us know in the comments on our Facebook page.

tiffanifrost
Tiffani is wife to David and mother to 4 boys, and they live in their self-proclaimed “frat house” in Bennington. She is a Nebraska native, freelance writer, and certified group fitness instructor. She earned her Journalism degree from the University of Denver in 1999, and returned to Omaha in 2007. As an active family, they enjoy exploring local parks and trails, participating in races, and traveling. Tiffani is an avid triathlete and runner, and completed her first (but not last) Ironman race in 2016. She writes about her adventures on her blog MomCanTri.com.