The Cloth Facemask:: Reasons Why It’s My New Favorite Accessory

I know it’s a bit controversial right now, especially how, after prolonged wear, it gets damp and moist and traps most of my germs. But beyond that, let me tell you why I LOVE my cloth facemask.

Facemask Sewing Skillz.

Remember, in middle school, when the FCS teacher insisted we all learn how to reattach a button or sew a pillow? We never thought we’d need those skills, right? As it turns out, we do. My handy-dandy homemade facemask is visual evidence of my Home Economics grade. In other words, if it looks stunning, I bought it.

Facemask

Oral Hygiene?

I love me some morning java. Caramel Macchiato is my fav. With my facemask in place, I get to savor that smooth, caramelly aroma all morning long. Mm-mmm goodness. Not to mention, it conceals the Oreos-for-breakfast evidence still stuck in my teeth.

Facemask = Sniffer filter.

For all those crop-dusting the aisles with their flatulence, you’re good! I can’t smell a thing in this thing. And if you are wearing your facemask, then you’re in the clear. That Black Bean Burrito recipe I tried last night was pretty potent.

Cover Those Moving lips.

I talk to myself. A lot. Out loud. Don’t judge, but when I’m in the grocery store scanning the shelf for regular Pesto, I verbalize: “Pesto, Pesto, Pesto, not creamy Risotto Pesto, ah-ha! Pesto!” Because let’s be honest, we don’t need to try that Black Bean Burrito recipe again.

Ache facemask…er…coverup.

Once a month, my face tends to revert to thinking I’m two decades younger than I am. Thank you, hormones. But now, my trusty-dusty accessory hides Everest when it pops up on my chin. Seriously, who needs concealer when you have a facemask? (Who needs makeup for that matter?)

Makeup?

See above. Who needs it? With a facemask covering half my face, my makeup-budgeting needs dropped like a rock!

Haircare, don’t care.

My go-to style has always been long and straight or in a ponytail. Curls, waves, and hairspray are best left to the professionals. When I don my cloth facemask and tie the bright and colorful strings behind my head, it flattens and smooshes any attempt I made (which I didn’t) at achieving an actual hairstyle. Messy bun, ponytail, dry shampoo for the fourth day…no one knows.

Incognito via Facemask.

Speaking of…if I haven’t showered or makeup-ed or had an updo lately, I also may not want to be recognized. I’ve learned from all the superheroes if you wish to conceal your true identity, wear a mask. It’s also fun to feel like I’m giving Big Brother and all the face recognition software a run for its money.

Mom-stache Help.

You know how somedays; you pull on shorts and take a gander at you at your legs and think: Uh, no—pants day. The facemask is like that! Pants for your face! Whether you wax or Nair or bleach or well, forgot to, the facemask has got you covered. For real.

jenniegollehon
Jennie is a native Nebraskan and aspiring writer. She’s a stay-at-home mom to three kids, two cats, a bearded dragon, and a handful of fish. When she’s not playing chauffeur, maid, cook, housekeeper, tutor, laundress, or answering to “Mom” a million times over; she hides in her writing nook and lives vicariously through her fiction characters. Jennie likes to read, take long walks, go on crazy road-trip vacations her wonderful husband plans, or simply sit on the deck with friends.