My Rainy Day Friend:: What are they and how can I be one?

rainy day friend
Photo by Victoria Borodinova from Pexels

If you don’t have one yet, you should work really hard to make sure that 2020 brings you a rainy day friend. What is that, exactly?

My rainy day friend gets me. She is my person.

If by some calamity, we found ourselves alone in this world, we would buy a duplex and live side by side for the remainder of our lives. When she calls, I answer. When I call, she answers. We are true Millennials in this. If we call, our person is NEEDED. I called her once driving home from downtown Omaha to Bellevue at 3AM because I was very doubtful I was actually going to make it back to use the bathroom and needed a distraction. Did she appreciate that? No. Did she talk to me? Of course (after making fun of me)! 

Cause for joking aside, these friends are not only there for the rainy days.

In fact, they likely spend more time sunbathing with you than not. However, the intimacy of a rainy day friend is created while weathering life’s storms together. These life storms rain on one head and sometimes both while lightening strikes between you. 

Parenting has impacted my relationship with my rainy day friend. I have not always been the friend I could or should be and vice versa. Momming makes connecting more complicated, and more time is spent away from the friends we once saw multiple times per day. Grief, and potentially even anger, are to be expected. We are only angry because we are hurt, no? What makes a genuinely unconditional rainy day friend is overcoming the storms growing up pelts us with, whether those climate changes bring hail the size of baseballs or light drizzles and chilly wind. 

My rainy day friend and I have been through our share—prevailing every time. Even during tornados, I have always known and felt how much she loves me and me, her. The clouds still part, the sun always shines. And as we all know, there are no rainbows without the rain.

How to Make a Rainy Day Friend

  1. Find someone you like…A LOT.
  2. Send random texts, ask random questions, and commit time to get together.
  3. Give grace to them and to yourself.
  4. Only have expectations for what you’re willing to give to the relationship.
  5. Ask the hard questions, have intimate conversations, tell embarrassing stories.
  6. Be sure they can tell anyone, without a single doubt, that they know they are loved—by you.
  7. *Optional—to be inserted between any steps* Drink a lot of wine together.


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