Dear Ellen,
You are a good mama. You are the perfect mama for your three sons. No one is better suited to be their mama. You’re fearfully and wonderfully made, and they are the fruit of your womb. They are the children you were born to raise.
Yet, mama, you feel that you are never enough.
You feel like you are always letting them down. You believe your time is split. You can’t meet all of your boys’ individual needs. Above all else, you want them to know that they are loved. You never want them to question that a day of their life. You love them fiercely, and it takes your breath away sometimes.
You’ve spent sleepless nights up with nursing babies, sick children, boys who need their mama to hold their hand while they fall asleep. You’ve spent nights awake worried about them, nervous for their futures, afraid you said something that will negatively impact their tender hearts.
You’ve read all the books. The baby books were a walk in the park compared to the nitty-gritty of toddlers and growing children. They’re going to do what? I’m supposed to handle that how? My husband never told me about that!
Your love for them is endless; it knows no bounds.
It is the purest form of love on Earth. You pray they love you back that you’ll always be close. They will tell you their troubles or let you sit with them in the hard places.
You laugh. You cry. You want to grab all the memories and tuck them away in the memory bank fresh and forever, not wanting them to fade or slip.
Some days you are rocking the mama job. Other days getting out of bed feels impossible. When you wear makeup and do your hair, they assume you have a meeting or a date. You talk about gross things and scream when you see a spider and want your little men to rescue you from bugs. They think it’s hilarious.
Certain days you laugh at them. They laugh at you. Certain days the tears flow from everyone.
You’ve ordered 3,000 pizzas, cooked 60,000 french toast sticks, and baked 800,000 chocolate chip cookies. They make a mess. You clean the mess.
Some days you don’t want to hear the joke, read the book, listen to the story, play the game. Some days you beg them to talk to you, snuggle on the couch, be in the photo.
These are the days with the most abundant blessings.
You are enough.
You are the mama they need.
You can do this job and answer this calling.