Quick… where’s your phone?
If you’re like me you’re reading this post on your phone and it’s already in your hand… Phew!
If you’re really like me you’re currently “pinging” your phone with your Apple Watch… It was just here a minute ago, I swear that thing has legs!
Whatever category you fall in most of us check our phones too often… far too often. No judgement here, I’m as guilty as you are.
This week my family is vacationing in Northern Michigan and we’re largely cut off from the modern world as we know it. My dad has a lake house about an hour south of Traverse City and because his house is right on Lake Michigan the high bluffs obstruct cell service. We “have” internet, but it’s not working right now.
To connect with the outside world we have to drive about a half mile to the Apple storage sheds (yes, you read that right) or into downtown Onekama to use the library’s wifi (isn’t that quaint!).
Several years ago this lack of communication might have really bothered me. But surprisingly enough at this point in my life it’s exactly what I need. It’s a priority check. My core group is here with me. I know they’re safe and happy. I’m focused on what we’re doing, not anyone or anything else.
So here’s what I’ve learned:
1. S’mores are my favorite dessert. I think it should be your favorite too.
Why you ask? Well, in addition to being downright delicious and the perfect end to a summer night they are a community dessert. S’mores are a team activity.
With s’mores, no one has to work reallllly hard to make dessert for a bunch of people to gobble up in a couple minutes. If you’re hosting you can be super ambitious and put all three ingredients required on a fancy platter and get some of those cute skewers and you’ve outdone yourself.
Furthermore… S’mores are a dessert to be shared. How often have you made a S’more for someone else to enjoy? Everyone has a different marshmallow toasting technique and I for one love trying the different varieties. Sharing a S’more is like giving someone a hug.
2. Planning things without a phone can be easier than planning with a phone.
My husband and dad (BFFs) went golfing about 10 minutes away at Arcadia Bluffs. Since I was staying behind with Henry we wouldn’t have cell service to meet up or decide dinner plans for later that night. We had to make a decision before they left the house and then stick to it. There would be no texting to change plans or seeing what would work best depending on everyone’s mood and timing later that night.
Oddly enough, I didn’t feel like Henry and I were on anyone else’s schedule but our own. We did our own thing until whenever the boys got back. There was no looking at the clock counting down the time until the golfers’ return because I really had no idea what time they’d be back or even what time it was, and frankly it didn’t matter.
Which leads me to my third and final life lesson…
3. Vacation = no clocks
I generally keep track of time by looking at my phone or my Apple Watch. Given the lack of cell reception up here I rarely have my phone or watch on me. In short, I usually have no idea what time it is. We eat when we’re hungry, sleep when we’re tired (unless you’re Henry… then you stay up when everyone else is tired) and we spend the rest of the time on the water or digging in the sand.
I could get used to living this way (and I don’t just mean the part about the water and the sand). I check the clock far too often in my daily life back in Omaha, and more often than I’d care to admit we’re running late for something (it’s like as soon as you have a kid you will never be on time for anything. Ever.).
It’s because I’m over scheduling my child (something I swore I’d never do). We have some place to go or someone to meet.
One day last week (when I was in pre-vacation mode) my son and I had a play date, THEN went to the zoo, and THEN met friends at the pool. ALL IN THE SAME DAY. It was fun but exhausting in the 90+ degree heat. I was so beat that getting to bunco that night was a struggle (and if you know me you know how much I love bunco).
We love play dates. We love the zoo. We super love the pool these days. But we crammed too much into one day. For my son and I our days don’t have to be scheduled down to the half hour. It’s just not necessary. It’s extremely liberating to have no idea what time it is and to have it not matter.
In our downtime we have the most fun with each other. Strip away all the self-created chaos and we’ve found ourselves together.
Now, I still love the activities my son is in. We will continue to have a bit of a schedule in our normal routine. But I’m going to try to set aside a couple days a week with nothing planned. Days where whatever we feel like doing takes precedence. Let’s throw the schedule to the wind and see where the day takes us.
But before I wrap this blog post up I want to circle back to my original topic: The great summer vacation technology fast of 2017.
I’m a habitual phone checker. In my LBC (life before child) I was a reporter. Social media and staying connected were the bread and butter of my profession. Learned habits are hard to forget. So unfortunately my phone creeps into my life more than I’d like it to.
And to clarify, I’m a stay at home mom. My son is my “business”. I don’t have pressing matters to attend to around the clock (other than how to sneak more vegetables into my son’s diet). No one is counting on my communication to complete their job and as far as I can tell the world is continuing to spin whether or not I have access to the internet.
My most important business is my son, so giving him my undivided attention should be my number one priority. And it is. But do my actions always match up with my words?
Every once in a while I’ll find myself seeking a mini escape in the middle of my 9-5 mom gig. A mental break to browse my newsfeed and see what my friends and the rest of the world is up to. And here’s something that might really rock your boat… it’s not very mommish of me. In fact, on a daily basis it’s probably the least “mom” thing I do. I’m doing it for myself.
Now I’m certainly not a proponent of self-sacrifice for our children to the point that it’s unhealthy. I don’t think it’s bad for us moms to take time to ourselves at all… I just don’t want my child growing up with one shadow of a doubt that he is the most important “business” I have. I never want him to feel like I paid more attention to my phone. I never want him to even question where my interest lies. Because I know there’s nothing on this palm sized computer that matters even a fraction as much as my son or anything he could ever do.
Catherine, this is so important. I love the phrase “self created chaos” as I believe that’s what I do on a daily basis. Unplugging and relaxing can help everyone. I think I really needed this post today! Thank you!