When we first met, I had no idea he’d be the love of my life. Neither of us had any ambitions of getting married or even getting into a serious relationship. Luckily for us, we somehow always ended up talking again, even after neglected emails and phone calls left unreturned.
After our first date, we were virtually inseparable and he asked me to marry him on the hottest day that summer.
On our first Valentine’s Day, he brought me a giant stuffed frog. We were in the midst of planning our wedding and we were so in love.
We planned our wedding for the next August.
It was the perfect day. We had no idea of the path that was ahead of us, but we pledged to love each other through it all. When we said, “for better or for worse”, there was no way we could have ever imagined just what that “worse” would be. When we said “in sickness and in health”, cancer wasn’t on our radar.
Five years and two kids later, we found ourselves expecting our third child. We were elated beyond belief. At our anatomy scan, we were given a fatal diagnosis for our unborn son. There’s no denying that hearing “your baby is not compatible with life” was the “worse” our vows had warned of. Not every couple that lives through the loss of their child makes it out on the other side together. Instead of pushing each other away in our grieving, we held each other closer.
And then a year after that, we got the news that I had skin cancer. My cancer journey was thankfully easier than most, but once again Adam was there as my rock, even though he was just as scared as I was.
Even though we’ve experienced the “worse” and the “sickness”, we’ve also lived in the “better” of our vows, too. We have three beautiful boys here with us that are healthy and amazing. Even though Bennett’s life was too short, it was such a gift. We have a lovely home and we’re able to travel. And we have fun together! I am proud to say that through all of our bad times, we’ve grown closer to each other.
Our marriage isn’t perfect, but it is wonderful.
We have our disagreements and we get irritated with each other at times, but we also make sure to show love to each other daily. Adam honestly cleans more than I do. He watches basketball with me (sometimes), even though he hates it. I take early am shift with the kids so that he can sleep in. He laughs at my bad jokes and I laugh at his. It really is the little things that matter.
Marriage is work, but it’s so worth it. I can honestly say that I love him so much more now eleven Valentine’s Days later than I did on that day he showed up with that giant stuffed frog.