I’ve been on certain mom groups, and a particular question seems to pop up now and then—when should I have another kid? Many moms think about this, and everyone, rightfully so, has their own opinion on the matter! So, I went out and asked moms what their favorite part about their kid(s) particular age gap. It was so wonderful to hear all the great things about their families.
Minutes
“Haha, 1 min here, and I got nothing to contribute.”
—Becka.
“They shared a womb, so they are literally best buddies and live by the motto what’s yours is mine, and it seems to be some mutual understanding between the two of them.”
—Also, Becka
“For my twins, the 4 minutes help give them their own identity- “I’m older and have curly hair,” “I’m younger but taller.” People get confused because they think there’s a year difference, and I have to clarify they are twins and actually the same age.”
—Sara F.
Less than 2 years
“20 months for my first two and 3 and a half years for the next. The older two are super close, which means they both play really well, or they fight just as well. My daughter knows how to get under my oldest son’s skin and vice versa.”
—Neidy
“I have 5 girls- first two are 15 months apart, then 16 months apart, then 2 years 7 months, then 2 years 2 months. So when all [is] said and done, my oldest and youngest are 7 years and 5 months apart. I LOVE having them all so close together- they are the best of friends and all so close with each other a lot of little bickering/ arguing/etc. However, they have never been “mad” at another for more than maybe an hour (usually a lot less). Built-in BFFs.”
—Sarah
“And, I never was out of the “baby” phase long enough to be totally wrecked when the next one came. I was pregnant or nursing over 8 years straight, so FINALLY being down with diapers and strollers has been heaven, and I couldn’t imagine starting all over again!”
—Sarah again!
“My oldest two are 20 months apart. My favorite part is now that they are in school; they are only a year apart, so the older is always telling the younger what to expect and reassuring him how great it will be.”
—Kristen
2 years
“My kids are 2 1/2 years and 2 years. I love that they are all close enough in age to play together and be each other’s entertainment. Can I say what I don’t love?? I often have to pick apart fights and say, “Just leave each other alone! Give some space! You don’t HAVE to play with each other!” Sooooooo it has its pluses and minuses like any age gap.”
—Erika
“2.5 gap almost to the day! We were supposed to have them 2 yr apart, and it was estimated to be 2 yr and one month apart to the day. But God had other plans! In hindsight, while my heart still aches, the extra six months meant so much to our family in so many ways. I think my oldest was so much better prepared to be a big sister getting those extra six months. Plus, I was really struggling with the concept of sharing my time, and getting those months was priceless to me. And now that she’s 3.5 and he just turned one, she’s enjoying him more and more and wanting him to play with her more than he prefers most days (haha!). I think for me, the gap was ideal as well for my parenting style. My oldest was old enough to be more self-sufficient [to] have that special time with my new baby. Plus, she was a huge mamas girl for a straight 2.5 years, and it was time for her to finally branch out to other people.”
—Sara H.
“Being 2.5 years older than the twins, my oldest daughter takes her role as the big sister seriously, but she is also close enough to them that they enjoy the same toys, shows, etc., but if they get into something, she transitions into her leadership role. It is super cute to watch!”
—Ebony
3 years
“I needed the 3 years between being a mom-of-one before becoming a mom-of-two. I love [that] they are close enough in ages to play with each other, interact in similar ways, and teach/learn from each other.” —Jennie
“What I love about it: I grew up with the same age gap with one of my sisters, and the bond we created is incredible. Plus, it allowed time to get one fully potty trained before fully diapering another, and the age of 3, developmentally, has kids more understanding of a new sibling helping them become more excited (hopefully, haha) and better educated on being able to help out when they really want to.”
—Brittanee
“…3.5 years [between #2 and #3]. We waited for a little bit to have our third. While it felt like starting over when we had him, it was so nice to have slightly older kids to love on him and take care of their own needs.”
—Neidy
“My two are 3 years apart. I didn’t want to have 2 kids in diapers at the same time. I love the gap because my daughter was self-sufficient by the time my son was born. And she understood what it meant to be a big sister and role model. We use the saying ‘monkey see monkey do’”
—Kelcey.
4 years
“The 4 years is amazing!! My older kids can entertain themselves, wipe their butts (for the most part) can communicate, and help entertain baby bro. We got 4 years with just them to create those memories and moments. We get quality 1-on-1 with Will when his older sisters are at school, which is also super nice! Looking to the future: They will only be in the same school building for pre-k/elementary, and only for a short time. I’ll have 2 babysitters and 2 who can drive their brother to school and activities!”
—Sara F.
“Mine are 4 years apart (now 19 and 15), and their whole lives it has been perfect spacing: just far enough apart to have their own “things” but close enough to be great friends and share things. They take care of each other, and they compete with each other, but most of all, they encourage each other.”
—Ann
Greater than 4 years
“My girls are 4 years and 10 months apart. We planned it that way, and because we did, we were able to enjoy and be present for both of them when they were younger. We were able to enjoy each child and be available for what they needed when they needed it as up until recently (8 & 13) they never needed the same things from us.”
—Jamie
My VERY scientific conclusion about the age gap
All of these comments also made me come to a very scientific conclusion (sarcastic) that there is no perfect age gap but that you can find the beauty in any of them—what matters the most is what is best for your family.
